I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, and a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so f*cking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
'Till I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away," just make a smile
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.
For You x3

Well, if it is a test, I'm just about tired of it. Going to walk right out of this classroom.

Ate ramen noodles for 6 months to afford that.

Not going to force someone to talk to me. You know I have a lot to offer, but if it idn't your brand you can just pass it by. One persons trash is really atreasure when you blow the dust off of it.

gone is my fire. my motivation. my desires. Or at least they would be if I didn't have so much damn stuff to do. I would love to be depressed but, fuck, I've got places to see and amazing to be.

The only reason I get out of bed each day and go to work is for a future I had planned. all day long I just wait for another text. for that warm feeling I get when it might be you.

it's not your fault I feel this way. and you don't need to apologize. I just expected too much I guess. we were too young maybe.
Good thing I'm invincible, or this would suck. But I've grown too old and crabby to even care. You can say or feel however you want, but I love you. And I'm too stubborn to change.

I still have this problem where I don't want to give up. And I said I wouldn't. I understamd subtle hints but I ignore them
it's just time. there is always more of it. I used to think but I realize I took too many people for granted. I'm sorry for that. and I won't do that again.